Mo money

I'm doing my taxes, and apparently fertility expenses are deductible. So I pulled my bank statements from all of 2016 and totaled it all up: I spent over $34,000!! And nothing to show for it! So crazy. I have a friend from high school who lives in London, and she has been traveling to Prague for fertility treatments because it's so much cheaper over there: $5000 for IVF and $1100 for donor embryos. In the US, this would be at least $20,000. Perhaps a trip to Prague is in order...

Can't I just find a baby in a dumpster like a normal person?

Finally talked to two adoption agencies that will at least entertain the idea of a single parent. However, I had NO IDEA adoption was so expensive - we're talking $40K. That's way more than IVF. I'm shocked. How in the world do normal people (not celebrities) do this?? Still going for IVF round 2, and then we'll see what happens. OY VEY

Damn, Gina.

Just got a rejection letter from an adoption agency because mothers giving up their babies for adoption are looking for "traditional" families. Literally:

"One thing adoption does offer, that single parenting does not, is a traditional family with which to place their child."

I find that a little offensive. First of all, what is a traditional family these days anyway? Just because I don't have a husband, I am not good enough to be a parent? Trying to do something good for humanity and still get rejected. Crap.

Slate: clean. Ish.

DNC went well, although I'm still bleeding a lot and just feel icky. But she got tissue out, which was the goal, and again reminded my mom and I that she felt strongly it would work the next time. I certainly hope so. This has not been particularly fun. The weirdest part of all is the not remembering anything. I mean, I don't even remember going into the operating room. Or how I got from the recovery room to my own room with my mom. Plus hours later I found a big sticky EKG patch on my chest and one on my back, and the next morning found a large bandaid on my shoulder from where I had apparently gotten a shot? What in the world goes on in those 15 minutes?? We may never know.

Plans

Have the DNC scheduled for Friday, and hopefully can get the bloodwork done in the next few weeks. Ready to try again, as crazy as that sounds.

O for 2

Well, crap. Went in for the ultrasound today and they found nothing. Nada. Zilch. No baby. No heartbeat. I'm a little surprised - my numbers were way better this time, and last time I was at least able to see the baby and a heartbeat. Back to square one. I have to wait to miscarry again, and then they want to run some tests to see if it's something I'M doing that's keeping this from working. The doctor was encouraging that this will work again, but it's so emotionally and financially draining I just don't know what to do next. Have an appt with a local adoption agency next week, just to keep my options open. This absolutely SUCKS.