In the trenches

So this holiday weekend was a wash - not because of the weather; because I felt so bad. I took two hour naps every day and ate so little that I'm down to my goal weight. Which I know is not good - actually felt a twinge of hunger today so I'm worried/glad about that.

Also, the progesterone in oil shots in my ass are getting old. I have blood stains on most of my shorts/pajamas. Awesome! Good thing I'm single. This is tragic.

Gaining on me

My doctor told me yesterday that as a "thin" person (bless her heart), I need to gain 35 pounds with this pregnancy. (I was thinking more like 25.) When I told her I had already lost 5, she said now I have to gain 40 pounds.

159 bpm!

Heard the heartbeat! Everything looks great - baby is growing right on track, although apparently I am having little contractions which I feel can't be good for her. (Doctor assured me it's very normal, and can just be your uterus stretching out or dehydration - cue me drinking like 8 more bottles of water and going to the bathroom every 15 minutes instead of the current every hour.)

I had to laugh that they typed out "BABY" on the ultrasound picture - in case you can't find it. (It looks like a blob, so I get it.)

And now I'm graduated from my awesome fertility doctor and go see the OB next week. Yikes!

#gobubblesgo

The next big hurdle

Really hoping to hear the heartbeat today. I'm particularly nervous because at 7.5 weeks, this would be further than any of the other pregnancies have gotten. NO pressure, Bubbles.
I have been feeling pretty nauseous all day lately as well. No puking, just a general lack of appetite and no desire to eat anything. Which means I've lost 5 pounds. Thanks, Bubbles! Let's keep it going. Until I gain like 30. Hoping this is a good sign, but I remain a ball of nerves. Apologies to those around me. God willing I'll only be like this for another 18 years. :)

Team Bubbles!

Saw the heartbeat in today's ultrasound. Shocked because I had some light spotting over the weekend, so thought I was probably out (although I don't recall any spotting with the other two miscarriages). Although it's still very early (6.5 weeks) and I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, this was the first "normal" ultrasound I've ever had. The doctor said her size and position looked great. I go back next week for another check and will *hopefully* hear the heartbeat, and then have an apt with the dr who will be my official OB on June 1.

Go Bubbles go!

Hanging in. Barely.

Good lord this waiting is tough. Monday's ultrasound feels an eternity away. Trying not to think about it too much (ha) and trying to stay off the internet (haha), but it's tough.

And baby fever is back - two good friends are pregnant, and both were hesitant to tell me. This makes me sad, even though I know they were just trying to protect my feelings. Girls. I am used to disappointment. Constant announcements of "in a relationship," "engaged," "married," "pregnant" and "pregnant AGAIN!" for the last 15 years has toughened me up.

Still hoping for a miracle with Bubbles. There's no reason it should work this time, but there's a chance it will, right?? RIGHT??

#teambubbles

Symptomspotting. The sequel to Trainspotting.

Because everyone does it, I of course obsess over symptoms. Last week, I didn't really have any. A weird night where I had red itchy bumps all over my body which mysteriously were gone the next morning. (Of course, I feared bedbugs and nearly burned my mattress in effigy.)

And the night before I decided to test for the first time, my dog slept with her head on my stomach. Which she never does. Thought maybe that was a sign.

This week, again not much. A few pangs and twinges in my abdomen, and some general nausea, but nothing very impressive. Which of course has me worried. But my mom said she never had ANY symptoms (no morning sickness, no sore boobs, no nothing) - aside from a ridiculous craving for cherry pie.

Bring it on.

Numbers game

Beta results from Friday: 186. (Anything over 50 is pregnant.) Of course, I've been here before. (Not quite this high, however.) Where I seem to have trouble is getting the HCG to double every 48 hours. So anxiously awaiting the results from today.

Aside from some pulls and pangs in my abdomen, I feel fine - which of course also has me concerned. Shouldn't my boobs be sore by now? Shouldn't I be feeling nauseous?? My poor mom wants to kill me already. Too bad I can't drink. Ha.