Symptom spotting or lack thereof

This wait is killing me. I'm assuming the worst and simultaneously excited about/dreading the ultrasound next Thursday.

I've had crampy aches in my uterus since practically day one, which I know could be a good thing (stretching and growing and all that - hello, the donor is 6'6"!!! Make room for that shit!), but I'm paranoid that my period is about to start.

My boobs are getting fuller and sore, and my areolas are getting larger as well (TMI, I know). I haven't gotten sick, but I almost passed out on Friday and every morning have a wave of nausea come over me. Having very vivid dreams that I remember in the morning, which is rare for me, and I napped every day over the holiday break. So very tired. And now I'm having some sort of night sweats. So basically I'm a giant hormonal nightmare, and just hoping it's for a good reason...

Black and blue. And a little green.

This is my arm, almost a week after getting my blood drawn last Wednesday:

(I promise it looks worse in person.)

And I will save you from showing photos of the bruises on my ass from the daily progesterone shots. (Which I am now able to give to myself, making my mom very happy.) You're welcome.

#thestruggleisreal #itwillallbeworthit

A bit of good news

Got my bloodwork back today - 7557! It needed to be around 4000, so this is a good surprise. And I am very surprised. Have my first OB sonogram on January 5, and I should be around 8 weeks at that point so hopefully I can hear the heartbeat and feel a little better about where we're at. Keep growing, little guy!! xo

Back in limbo. I hate limbo.

HCG went from 293 to 546. So 40 points away from doubling. Again, the dr isn't concerned (but I am), and I have to go back next Wednesday for another test. I am just confused and worried - I thought this happened before because it wasn't a good embryo - chromosomal abnormality and all that. But this time I did the genetic testing to ensure it WAS a good embryo - so I don't understand why this is still happening. I can get pregnant, I just can't stay pregnant. Not sure which is worse.
So we'll see how much it goes up in a week. After that is the sonogram, so I guess that will be the ultimate bearer of good or bad news. Ugh.

Spoke too soon

Once again, my HCG numbers are not doing what they are supposed to do. Rose from 159 to 293. So almost doubled, but not quite. They are supposed to double every 48 hours. I can't believe this is happening again - this time with a good embryo! I thought a bad embryo was the culprit last time; turns out maybe it's me. Sigh.

We have a winner!

The results are in: Pregnant! I took a home pregnancy test every day last week and Monday and Tuesday they were negative. My boobs weren't sore (they were last time) and I was pretty bummed, convinced it didn't work. But then Wednesday through Friday I was starting to see a second line on the test, and thought maybe...just maybe...

Sure enough, got the bloodwork results back on Friday and my HCG was 160 (they look for anything over 50, so they were pleased with the result). Awaiting my results from today's test - hoping beyond all hope that my levels at least doubled since this is where I ran into trouble last time. But my initial result last time was 58, so I feel like I'm already on better footing. Think I just had a bad embryo last time. And apparently at my age, that's increasingly common.

In summary, I'm not infertile. Just single. (And old.)

Fingers crossed for continued good news...

PUPO

That's "Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise." Yep, the little guy is transferred, and I am so nervous and can't believe I have to wait until next Friday to take a blood test. I didn't work out today, even though my doctor said I could, and I'm eating pineapple like it's going out of style (supposed to help things "stick."). I'm so jealous of "normal" people who just get pregnant and it's smooth sailing. This whole year has been a series of ups and downs. You get excited about having lots of eggs. But then only a few get fertilized. You're thrilled to have three embryos. But only one is good. You get a positive pregnancy test. But then your HCG levels aren't great. Why can't it just be good news?!?!