Oof

Four embryos are still growing strong, with a fifth slowpoke hanging around. I was hoping all five would make it to freeze, but I knew they wouldn't. In fact, I'm just hoping three make it. Won't know until Monday. But I feel AWFUL. My stomach cramps have been nearly debilitating, the bloat is gross, and yesterday I almost fainted twice and threw up in the car driving to work. (I did call the doctor and got checked out yesterday; everything is fine.) But I still feel crappy. I'm wondering if it's because I had twice as many mature eggs this time, so maybe it was harder on my body? Either way I feel like I'm 100. So glad I'm doing a frozen embryo; don't feel like I would be up to the challenge of implanting a fresh one.

Positive vibes for the four little embryos, please! Figure if I get to transfer one, I'll do another round of acupuncture that week and then the week after the transfer. Why not.

Fab 5

Update! 13 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilized (and 2 more on hold but probably out). So that's slightly better than last time (12 eggs, 4 mature, 4 fertilized).

And now we wait.

Feeling bad, hoping good

Had the egg retrieval yesterday, two days earlier than intended. The doctor told my mom they got 8-10 eggs (hoping it's closer to 10), and that they looked mature. (Remember, I had 12 last time but only 4 were mature.) I am super crampy and don't feel very well, but I'm anxiously awaiting a phone call from the doctor today letting me know the status. How many fertilized?? Please say a few did. I would hate to think I'm doing all of this to myself for nothing...

#hydrocodoneismyfriend

Sometimes I feel like it works for everyone but me.

This whole process is so horrible, and although I'm so thrilled when friends announce they're pregnant, it's also like a kick in the gut because I'm not. Or worse - I was. Twice. And I'm not anymore. I started the stims on Saturday, and have three dr's appointments this week to check the progress. I'm super nervous about it not working again, but I'm now considering embryo donors for the next round. It would be tough having a baby that wasn't genetically mine, but maybe if it grew in my belly I would feel partly responsible? The ironic bummer is that I donated my young healthy eggs at age 24. If only the fertility clinic in LA still had one left, I could use that! But that's highly doubtful. Had I known I would struggle, perhaps I would have saved one! #hindsight #20-20

Desperate times, desperate measures

Got the go-ahead to start injections this Saturday, with a tentative egg retrieval date of 3/15. I'm ready to get going, but so nervous it's not going to work. But trying some new things this time:

• acupuncture
• gluten-free diet
• coq10 supplements
• fish oil supplements
• barley supplements
• maca supplements
• baby aspirin
• Plus some new drugs: prometrium after the retrieval and Follistim instead of Gonal-F

Here's hoping...

#thirdtimesthecharm 

What's one more week

Went today for the baseline ultrasound and they found a cyst in my right ovary. So I have to take birth control pills for another week and go back next Monday to hopefully start again. Jesus. The waiting is the hardest part. (Shout-out, Tom Petty)

Healthy. Crap.

Had some bloodwork done to see if there was a reason for my miscarriages, and...nope. Everything came back just fine. I am going to take baby aspirin throughout just to help things, but MAN. The one time I'm hoping to hear there's something wrong with me.

Regardless, starting over with round 2 of IVF. I had the hysteroscopy yesterday, and everything inside looks good post-d&c. Found a new sperm donor, because the last guy was sold out. (Seriously. This keeps happening to me.) It's arrived safe and sound at my dr's office, and my $5000 of drugs came to the house today. Should be starting on the stims next Saturday. Here's hoping they grab like 20 eggs and 10+ are mature and fertilize. It's so frustrating hearing about friends going through this who got so many embryos they have 8 on ice! 8! Stupid 39-year-old eggs.

And I tried acupuncture last week. Infertility acupuncture. Personally I think it's all a bunch of hooey, but people swear by it so who am I to judge. Will go again before I get the egg retrieval, and then again after implantation.#voodoo