Normal? Abnormal? Who's to say.

Finally feeling like a human being again, just to get the call from the embryologist yesterday that only two little guys made it to genetic testing. She graded both "excellent," but unfortunately that grade doesn't make a difference to the chromosomal makeup. Hoping I get one good one back, but assuming I'll get none, since it's basically 30% at my age. This sucks! Not sure if I should try a third round or think about a donor embryo...would love for this baby to have my DNA, but it seems that my DNA may be a complete failure.

Oof

Four embryos are still growing strong, with a fifth slowpoke hanging around. I was hoping all five would make it to freeze, but I knew they wouldn't. In fact, I'm just hoping three make it. Won't know until Monday. But I feel AWFUL. My stomach cramps have been nearly debilitating, the bloat is gross, and yesterday I almost fainted twice and threw up in the car driving to work. (I did call the doctor and got checked out yesterday; everything is fine.) But I still feel crappy. I'm wondering if it's because I had twice as many mature eggs this time, so maybe it was harder on my body? Either way I feel like I'm 100. So glad I'm doing a frozen embryo; don't feel like I would be up to the challenge of implanting a fresh one.

Positive vibes for the four little embryos, please! Figure if I get to transfer one, I'll do another round of acupuncture that week and then the week after the transfer. Why not.

Fab 5

Update! 13 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilized (and 2 more on hold but probably out). So that's slightly better than last time (12 eggs, 4 mature, 4 fertilized).

And now we wait.

Feeling bad, hoping good

Had the egg retrieval yesterday, two days earlier than intended. The doctor told my mom they got 8-10 eggs (hoping it's closer to 10), and that they looked mature. (Remember, I had 12 last time but only 4 were mature.) I am super crampy and don't feel very well, but I'm anxiously awaiting a phone call from the doctor today letting me know the status. How many fertilized?? Please say a few did. I would hate to think I'm doing all of this to myself for nothing...

#hydrocodoneismyfriend

Sometimes I feel like it works for everyone but me.

This whole process is so horrible, and although I'm so thrilled when friends announce they're pregnant, it's also like a kick in the gut because I'm not. Or worse - I was. Twice. And I'm not anymore. I started the stims on Saturday, and have three dr's appointments this week to check the progress. I'm super nervous about it not working again, but I'm now considering embryo donors for the next round. It would be tough having a baby that wasn't genetically mine, but maybe if it grew in my belly I would feel partly responsible? The ironic bummer is that I donated my young healthy eggs at age 24. If only the fertility clinic in LA still had one left, I could use that! But that's highly doubtful. Had I known I would struggle, perhaps I would have saved one! #hindsight #20-20

Desperate times, desperate measures

Got the go-ahead to start injections this Saturday, with a tentative egg retrieval date of 3/15. I'm ready to get going, but so nervous it's not going to work. But trying some new things this time:

• acupuncture
• gluten-free diet
• coq10 supplements
• fish oil supplements
• barley supplements
• maca supplements
• baby aspirin
• Plus some new drugs: prometrium after the retrieval and Follistim instead of Gonal-F

Here's hoping...

#thirdtimesthecharm 

What's one more week

Went today for the baseline ultrasound and they found a cyst in my right ovary. So I have to take birth control pills for another week and go back next Monday to hopefully start again. Jesus. The waiting is the hardest part. (Shout-out, Tom Petty)