Doctor? Doctor.

So I've been giving myself the injections every night, and man I'm good at this. Maybe I could become a nurse once this is all said and done. The craziest thing is that I have to discard the needles into a red biohazard bin just sitting in my laundry room. Thank GOODNESS no guys are coming over - can you imagine? Had more bloodwork done this morning, and will schedule the next ultrasound for Sunday or Monday. Leroy is scheduled to arrive today, so now we just hope my lining looks nice and thick and I have several decent follicles. I keep injecting on the right, in the hopes that that side will get all the good ones (since the left side is most likely blocked), and I'm finally wearing the fertility ring my mom gave me (clearly sleeping with it under my pillow wasn't working). So that should really mean positive results, amiright??

Shots. But not the tequila kind.

Went to the dr today, and we're going to do another round of back-to-back IUIs, this time with injectables. Initially my prescription was for Follistim, but at the last minute it was on back order so I was going to get Gonal-F instead. Thank goodness some Follistim came in, because although it's ridiculously expensive ($900), Gonal-F is a gut-wrenching $2000! I start the shots tonight, have more bloodwork Friday (had some blood drawn today as a baseline), and then see the dr for another ultrasound Sunday or Monday. I see my doctor so often, especially on weekends, I think we might be dating. (Besides the fact that he thought I was only 32 today. Bless him.) Ordered the same sperm (go Leroy!), since he was such a superstar last month, and it will be delivered Friday to the dr's office. So basically I have spent an ungodly amount of money today, and really hope it takes this time.


The semi-good news: according to my doctor, IVF is more affordable than I thought - $6-$8K per round, as opposed to the $30K that I was thinking. Now, I still don't HAVE $6K, but could get it faster than I could get $30K. Which would be never.

#fail

Yep, fourth try was a bust. Which sucks because A. I felt like it was my best cycle yet, and B. the back-to-back IUIs wiped out my bank account. Thanks to my sweet mom, I can try one more time (and will ask to do another back-to-back because I feel it ups my chances), but that's going to be it for me. I just can't keep doing this - it's too draining, financially and mentally. I have a dr's appt tomorrow to start round 5, and will ask about the cost of IVF. I've heard everywhere from $15K-$30K. If it's $15K, I might be able to save up and try it next year. If it's closer to $30K, I'm out. Sadness. I have been trying to come up with silver linings here, and the list is short:

• Won't have to stress out about getting Zika this summer, so my 18 bottles of Off which are positioned strategically at every door can be put away
• Can be super selfish - not like I have to save for daycare or college or dance classes - and will go on cool trips to Hawaii and on the elusive 80s cruise (most likely by myself, but whatever), plus fix up my house because I won't have to move due to crappy schools
• Be an awesome aunt to my soon-to-be nephew. It won't be easy, but I'll do it. Because that's just what you do.
• That's all I can come up with right now. Because it's hard to find the positives. But I'll keep trying.

Crossroads

I don't think this last IUI worked, and I'm not sure what to do next. Regardless, I need to take a month or two off because I'll be traveling during the start of the next two cycles, PLUS this double whammy session broke the bank so I need time to recuperate some finances. But I'm wondering if I even bother doing IUI again, or if I just start saving my pennies and try IVF next year. (And yes, it will take me that long. It's THAT expensive.)


I guess I'll just wait and talk to the doctor to see what he advises. What's a few thousand more dollars, amiright?

Leroy

Just finished my 4th IUI - this time we did back-to-back inseminations, so I've seen my poor doctor Saturday, Sunday, yesterday and today. I'm sure he is praying for me to get pregnant as much as I am. My lining wasn't great this month, and I'm not sure why, but holy follicle production! I had two on the left and 3-4 on the right. Once again, the dr gave me a stern "multiples" lecture. I do not want four babies, trust me. Used a different donor this time, "Leroy," and his counts were "superb" according to the doctor. Alright, Leroy. You've got like five eggs to choose from in there. Go to town.