#fail

Yep, fourth try was a bust. Which sucks because A. I felt like it was my best cycle yet, and B. the back-to-back IUIs wiped out my bank account. Thanks to my sweet mom, I can try one more time (and will ask to do another back-to-back because I feel it ups my chances), but that's going to be it for me. I just can't keep doing this - it's too draining, financially and mentally. I have a dr's appt tomorrow to start round 5, and will ask about the cost of IVF. I've heard everywhere from $15K-$30K. If it's $15K, I might be able to save up and try it next year. If it's closer to $30K, I'm out. Sadness. I have been trying to come up with silver linings here, and the list is short:

• Won't have to stress out about getting Zika this summer, so my 18 bottles of Off which are positioned strategically at every door can be put away
• Can be super selfish - not like I have to save for daycare or college or dance classes - and will go on cool trips to Hawaii and on the elusive 80s cruise (most likely by myself, but whatever), plus fix up my house because I won't have to move due to crappy schools
• Be an awesome aunt to my soon-to-be nephew. It won't be easy, but I'll do it. Because that's just what you do.
• That's all I can come up with right now. Because it's hard to find the positives. But I'll keep trying.